Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
