I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
