I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
