you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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