you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
