So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
