we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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