hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
