Don't make out with my wife yet
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bring me that man meat
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
