I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
