I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
