he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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