God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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