My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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