singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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