Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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