Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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