I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
