I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
