I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize