Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize