At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
