No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Gay?
German.
Pity.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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