he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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