I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
