is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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