One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
