Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
