The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
This house was built for laser tag.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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