GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
