3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dick very happy bro
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
