I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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