so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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