dude i'm inner monologue high
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
