My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
