If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
