There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
