eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just found puke in my bra..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
