The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
