Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
