I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
we should paint friendship bongs
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
