i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
