How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
