Im at strip club and am horny
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
