Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
