did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
