Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
