I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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