there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
