I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize