I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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