She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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