I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
