i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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