dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
