Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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