we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
