yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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