We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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