He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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