Someone shit on the floor
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
