we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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