It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
