Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
